Haddie Bo Bo,I had a moment this weekend where I was walking around the mall, which is a normal activity, when all of a sudden it hit me.  It was like I awoke suddenly from a dream.  What am I doing?  My daughter is dead I shouldn't be just walking around this mall.  Most of

Haddie Bo Bo,I have been away on a girls get away for the past few days.  Earlier this year I had a work trip in Chicago and I took Aunt Alisa on it with me.  She got to shop, get massages, etc. while I sat in my classes.  She invited me on her trip to

Haddie Bo Bo,Your sister amazes me everyday.  She is getting so big and I love every minute of being her mom.  She brings me so much joy and I love how she remembers you and loves you.  Yesterday she was getting up from her nap and I could hear her talking to your Daddy.  She

Haddie Bo Bo,Yesterday we woke up and made our way down stairs.  We fiddled around doing little stuff around the house.  I can't remember if it was breakfast or lunch but we were sitting at the table quiet.  I look up and see your daddy with tears rolling down his cheeks.  This does not happen

Haddie Bo Bo,Yesterday I attended a retreat called "Carried" for mothers who have all lost a child.  I was nervous to go not knowing what to expect.  I walked in to a room of around 25-30 mothers.  Mothers who have walked the same journey that I am walking.  Some have walked this road for years

Haddie Bo Bo,I would have done anything, Haddie.  I would have chosen anything else than this.  I wouldn't think twice about sacrificing myself if I had been given the option.  Whether that means me instead of you, or a different type of life altering tragedy.  You did not deserve this, you were helpless.  You depended

Haddie Bo Bo,We are on day 2 of potty training Eloise.  She is doing fantastic!  She has such a personality and brings so much joy to us.  I am sure she would have been potty trained along time ago if I had been more consistent.  Sometimes it's just easier to put a diaper on than

Haddie Bo Bo,Happy Birthday Baby your one!  A year ago today I pulled you out and cuddled with you on my chest.  I held you in my hospital room and it was quiet just you, me, and Daddy.  I nursed you and stared at you wondering who you were and how you would fit into

Dear Haddie Bo Bo,2 months.  61 days. 5,270,400 seconds, 87,840 minutes. 1,464 hours. 8 weeks and 5 days.  Since I have seen your bright blue eyes.  Since I have held you.  Since I have smelled your sweet smell.  Since you have bit me.  Since you have crawled up me.  Since you have followed me around

Haddie Bo Bo,The night I went into the hospital to have you I remember looking at Eloise as she slept in her bed.  I cried because I knew her world was about to change.  The next time I would see her she would be a big sister.  I had spent almost 2 years with just