Haddie Bo BO,Sitting next to my tv is a picture of you.  Elo moved it there today because she kept hitting it with her ball.  So she moved it right next to the tv.  I have been trying to focus on some sort of mind numbing tv show but I can't.  It's been staring at

Haddie Bo Bo,3 months since you have gone has passed.  The feeling is really indescribable.  A friend who has lost a daughter wrote me a note and I felt like it summed up how I was feeling.  This is what he wrote:It's profoundly "amazing" that grief can take three months and make it feel like

Haddie Bo Bo,When I was young I dreamt of my life, my future, and what it would be.  I dreamt of the guy I would marry, the house I would have, the children I would love.  I imagined our lives together the things we would do, the places we would go, the traditions we would

Haddie Bo Bo,Someday I might be able to take a walk and not sob.Someday I might be able to drive my car longer than 10 minutes without crying.Someday I might be able to think about what happened to you with out massive anxiety. Someday I might be able to watch your videos and smile without

Haddie Bo Bo,This week has had it's ups and downs. Wednesday was an up.  We had some friends ask us to come to Music In The Park in Saugatuck.  The clouds had cleared and the sun came out.  The pizza was delicious the music was good.  Elo danced a lot and we got ice cream.

Haddie Bo Bo,I talk about your toothy grin a lot, but really you have so many "looks"  that I miss.  One of my favorites is a look you gave when you didn't know what something was.  For example there is a picture from your Daddy's birthday party where I was taking a picture of the

Haddie Bo Bo,We just got back from taking Eloise to her first Tiger's Game.  As you know your Daddy loves Tiger's baseball and he has been eagerly awaiting the day Eloise would be old enough to take her to a game.  I still don't know if she was old enough but it was an adventure

Haddie Bo Bo,I had a dream about you the other night.  It's only the 3rd time I have dreamt about you.  In my dream you were gone and I knew that in my dream.  Somehow I found you in my dream and you were alive.  You were sitting in your car seat just waiting for

Haddie Bo Bo,Yesterday was a good day.  I had lunch with some friends I haven't seen in awhile and it did my heart good.  I also climbed some stairs at the beach with another friend and it was good for my soul.  After the walk at the beach my friend stayed for dinner.  I was

Haddie Bo Bo,I am came home from my girls trip and greeted your Daddy and sister with hugs and kisses.  Then your Daddy held up an envelope and said, "This came."  It was your autopsy report.  We have waited and waited for this to be finalized, and here it was.  I have only skimmed it