Haddie Bo Bo,I often wrestle with Heaven.  For as long as I can remember I believed in Heaven and Hell.  I used to believe that when we went to heaven we would spend all day praising God.  Which meant on our knees...all day.  Yes I want to praise God in everything that I do but

Haddie Bo Bo,5 months without you.  Sucks.  I hate it with every fiber of my being.  5 months seems like and eternity since I have held you, kissed you, smelled you, seen you smile.  5 months also seems like it was yesterday.  5 months seems like it happened so fast, "5 months already?"  5 months

Haddie Bo Bo,I have been praying more and more that I dream about you.  I have only had 3 dreams about you. 2 were nightmares about how you died, and 1 was a good dream.  I would think that because 99.9% of my awake time is thinking about you that naturally I would dream about

Haddie Bo Bo,It has been a rough couple of days and I am really missing you.  I have been living on the verge of tears and it takes the littlest thing to set me off. Tuesday we took my car into the shop to have some work done.  We knew it would be an expensive

Haddie Bo Bo,Yesterday was a big day.  It was the first time I shared your story publicly.  I tried my best to honor you and tell people about how you lived. It was a beautiful day outside, warm, and sunny, I like to refer to it as a Haddie day.  As the time for the

Haddie Bo Bo,The past week has been so busy.  I have been super distracted by life that I haven't grieved you like I should.  There was a day this week that as I climbed into bed I said, "I didn't cry today."  I usually at some point in my day cry for you.   It's

Haddie Bo Bo,October 15th was Infant Loss Awareness day.  We participated in the "Flicker of Light".  People all across the globe light a candle for their baby they lost at 7:00pm.  You let it burn for an hour and there will be a continuous wave of light across the globe for 24 hours.  I asked

I have sitting here watching video after video of you through my tears.  What a gift it is that I have these videos of you.  I wish I had more.  I love that I can see you so alive; I just want to reach through the screen on my phone and hold you.  I want

Haddie Bo Bo,Grief is a monster.  A crazy monster that shows up with no warning.  It can be disguised as many different emotions and has no concept of time and it really doesn't care if it is an inconvenience.  Today I was supposed to accompany Eloise on her first field trip to Klackles Apple Orchard.

Haddie Bo Bo,It is officially fall and all the fall weather is here.  We have been doing many "fall" activities.  I have found that living life as big as possible makes the days go faster.  Then I am one day closer to seeing you again. Eloise my little monsterMany people have told me that over