I don’t have to smile

Haddie Bo Bo,It would have been your 1st Fourth of July.  Your first time seeing fireworks.  The first time to take some awkward picture with your sister in some ridiculous red, white, and blue outfit.  I have been struggling with my thoughts lately.  I get lost going over and over that day in my head

Happy 11 months Baby!

Haddie BoBo,Happy 11 months baby girl.  The fireworks are for you.  Today was a wonderful time spent with family and friends. You were talked about often with smiles and tears.  We wish you were here.  Elo sang, "Happy Birthday Haddie Bo Bo, cha cha cha!" I hope Jesus is holding you close and kissing your

1 month and Firsts

Haddie Bo Bo,Yesterday was 1 month since that horrid day. I am heartbroken. I am not going to try to describe the feelings I had because there are no words that could come close to explaining the pain. Your Aunt Rachel called early in the morning to tell us how much she loves us and

Now it’s me.

Haddie Bo Bo,There is this thing that tells you what you were doing this exact day last year, 2 years ago, 5 years ago, etc.  It's called Timehop.  So I looked up mine today and this is what came up 2 years ago today....I am now that mom that would give anything to hear you

The Mad Phase.

Haddie Bo Bo,The day after you were born I was in the hospital.  I was considering staying another night because it is easier having the help and well to be honest your Daddy and I really liked the food.  It was in the morning and the day shift nurse came on duty.  She asked me

No stranger to tragedy…

Haddie Bo Bo,Our family is no stranger to tragedy.  It was 2011 and your Daddy and me were living in a two bedroom apartment in Holland.  I found out that I was pregnant and bought your Daddy a baby Detroit Tigers hat.  He didn't grasp the announcement at first he just said, "This hat is

I don’t remember you crying

Haddie Bo Bo,I haven't dreamed of you yet in a way that I would like.  I did have one dream about you but it was a nightmare so I don't count that one.  I wonder what it would be like to see you in my dreams.  Would I like it because I miss you so