Haddie Bo Bo,I was upstairs putting laundry away, shocking I know.  Eloise was in her room playing with her train set.  It got very quiet, so I went to look for Elo.  I checked her room she wasn't there.  Then I saw her in your room.  She had gotten out all the poster boards with

Haddie Bo Bo,If I knew you'd only be with us for 9 months I would have done so many things different.  I would have picked you up every time you cried.  I would have never stopped nursing you because I felt stressed out working full time.  I would have taken pictures of every moment of

Haddie Bo Bo,I love you! Recently I have been on the receiving end of many's generosity and kindness. It was a later in the evening and Daddy, Elo, and I decided to take a quick Target run.  It had just been a long day at home so I still had the same pony tail hair

Haddie Bo Bo,There are toys strewn about my living room.  A sink overflowing with dishes.  Food still stuck to the table from last night's dinner.  Eloise is running around, playing, singing, and laughing.  LOUD.  The house still feels empty.  Today I can't look at your pictures because they hurt to much.  Today my normal "go

Haddie Bo Bo,I have been very busy this past week.  Busy and distracted.  I haven't had a lot of time to think....to think about you.  When I am awake I am thinking about you 99% of the time.  But lately I haven't had that time to think about you, or mourn you.  I usually see

Haddie Bo Bo,I miss you.  Those words seem so little, so powerless.  They don't accurately describe the constant longing in my inner most being for you.  It's something I can't turn off, it doesn't lessen, it doesn't fade.  Since you have left us I have found that nothing is the same and I have said

Haddie Bo Bo, We got home yesterday from our Christmas get-away to Florida.  We had a really great time.  It didn't seem like Christmas in Florida and that was really helpful.  It wasn't constantly in my face and people weren't really doing "Christmassy" things so it wasn't as painful as it would have been at

Haddie Bo Bo,Merry Christmas baby girl.  I am sitting in a hotel in sunny, beautiful, Florida, trying to go to sleep.  I have the TV on and head phones in trying desperately to drown out the thoughts in my head.  When this of course fails I go get the laptop so I can write these

Dear Haddie Bo Bo,I have been coming to the realization over time that because of the lack of control that I have in this situation I am slowly becoming or feeling out of control. From the moment you took your last breath I lost all rights to you.  I was told that I wasn't allowed

Haddie Bo Bo,Daddy hung up the canvas pictures of you and Eloise in our bedroom.  Eloise and I were laying in my bed because we weren't feeling well.  She looked over at your picture and said, "Haddie jump out of the picture."  She then went on to pretend that you were jumping on the bed