Haddie Bo Bo,
Eloise and I have been in Florida for the last couple of days. I was texting with your Daddy last night and I said to him, “Tomorrow is going to suck, I can feel it already.”
Daddy is great because he always tries to make me feel better he says, “I know. Try to think about the positives, and relax around the pool.”
He is right there are lots of positives still left to this life. However, on days like today the negatives, always seem to out weigh the positives. I see no positives to living 9 months without you.
Where we are staying the stars at night are so bright and clear. One night Eloise looked up at the sky and starting wishing on a star, “Come back, Haddie Bo Bo, your my best friend. Never leave again.” Last night she did the same thing but she asked that you would come swim with her. HEARTBREAKING. She also mumbled something about you being her star. I can’t remember exactly how she said it.
We have been down here with one of Mama’s really good friends and her daughter. Her daughter is only 3 weeks older than you and she is adorable. It’s always bittersweet to watch her. I like being reminded of what you would be doing. In that same thought I am reminded of what you would be doing. Her mama chases her around the pool, she is constantly exploring new things, and putting everything in her mouth. She says a few words, and her hair is growing. She says “Mama” clear as day. I wish more than anything I heard that come out of your sweet mouth. But I know you knew who I was and I know that you loved me.
Right now we are in the middle of an online Instagram auction. A friend approached me before the holidays of wanting to do an online auction and of course I said yes. I really had no idea what it would consist of and honestly had no expectations of how successful it would be. Well here we are 2 days in and we have raised $1939!!! That is almost 2/3rd’s of an order of sleep sacks. I am completely blown away. I am more amazed of the level of support we have received and how many times your name has been spoken and shared.
I also did another radio interview this week for 1260 The Pledge and told your story. Yesterday Daddy and Aunt Alisa braved the snowy roads to tell your story to the State of Michigan, Senate, Judiciary committee. I was so proud of your Daddy. This is the first time he has spoken publicly about you and our story. I would have given anything to see it. He loves you and misses you so much.
I am quickly realizing that no matter how far away I travel, or how great the distraction is the ache for you is always constant.
Our life is not the same with out you and I miss you with every breath I take.