Haddie Bo Bo,

Your birthday came and went.  I think I have mentioned this before but when I was pregnant with you all my friends were pregnant too.  So your birthday is surrounded by your friends birthday parties too.  I really wish I could see you play with them and how you would interact.  All of your friends came to help us celebrate your birthday.  That morning I woke up with tears as I fed your brother.  The time leading up to your party was stressful.  Your Daddy and I had some tense interactions, but I think we both realized it was because of our grief for you and what that day means.  But once your party started the day got better.  We swam in the pool, grilled hamburgers and hotdogs, and of course had cake and ice cream.  Your sister was so excited to celebrate your birthday!  She couldn’t wait to blow out your candles, “Mama can I blow out Haddie’s candle’s?  She can’t because she’s in heaven.”  I asked Elo what kind of cake you would want and she said, “A heart cake”.  So that’s what we got for you.  Singing Happy Birthday to you was more than I could handle so I listened to everyone else sing as I let the tears come.  So many people remembered you on your birthday.  We received sweet messages, flowers, meals, donations in your honor, and we were so grateful.  The greatest gift is that they remembered you.

We had asked guests to bring a toy or book to donate in your honor.  So last week I put tags on all the gifts that included your picture and your story.  I drove them to the Holland Rescue mission to drop them off.  I met with the Daycare worker there and I explained what I had brought.  She said, “You’re Sandy Bromley right? You brought gifts last year too.  I have been meaning to send you pictures of the little girl we gave some of the gifts too.”  I cried.  I am so glad that we could bless a little girl who needed it.  I also donated several Haddie Sleep Sacks to the babies that stay at the mission.  I left the shelter and cried all the way home.  Why couldn’t you be here to open your gifts?  Why am I doing this?  It’s not fair.  But if you can’t be here then I am glad to share your story and help others.

So we have found out that your brother may look like you but his disposition is much more like your sister Eloise.  He is loud.  He likes to he held and have attention.  He hasn’t given us much sleep yet.  But we are loving him and getting to know him more.  Your Daddy and I were talking in the car about just how much we miss you.  We miss your sweet personality and big toothy smile.  I miss holding you and cuddling you in the morning.

Here are some pictures from your birthday!

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love you so much.  I hate birthdays without you.