Haddie Bo Bo,

Wednesday before Thanksgiving I stopped into my old office to visit the staff and see how everyone was doing.  I sat down at my old desk and looked around.  Did I miss this?  The truth is yes I do miss this.  I wish more than anything I was going to work everyday and sitting at that desk.  I wish I woke up at 6:30 everyday, rushed around, and dropped you off at daycare.  If I were still doing all these things you would still be here.  I think back to “those days” and even though I always found stuff to complain about life was simple.  I had no real complaints.  Sometimes you would stop by my work for a quick visit.  All of my residents and staff loved seeing you and your sister.  No one can yell or be mean to a lady with a baby right??

My leasing agent Mr. Steven enjoyed your visits too.  We had our very own Anne Geddes photo shoot with you.  You were a great sport and you didn’t even cry.  You did give us a “Haddie” look though.

Daddy has been really wanting some big canvas pictures of you and Elo for our bedroom.  The other day he worked on it for hours.  Finally we ordered some and they came today.  He took the one of you out of the box and I immediately started sobbing.  You were so beautiful.  Elo woke up from her nap and came downstairs.  She noticed the big picture of you right away.  “That’s my baby Haddie!” She said with so much joy!  She went over to the picture and rubbed you and said, “My baby Haddie, I miss her.”  The other night in the car she had started to cry and said, “I miss my baby, Haddie.”  It was heartbreaking to hear her sadness over you.  We had been at your Aunt Alisa’s house hanging out with Everett and Crew.  I wonder if playing with Crew made her miss you????
This is the canvas picture Elo saw

I have some exciting news to share with you, Hads.  I have been working the past couple months on starting a non-profit in your honor.  I have submitted my application to the IRS for a 501c3 status and I am just waiting to hear back from them.  But I have secured the name and I have a Tax ID number and we are launching December 1st.  Aunt Alisa’s gym, For The Kidz Gymnastics, has decided to promote our cause all month.  We will have a “Haddie Tree” and we are asking that people donate a sleep sack or make a monetary donation toward the purchase of one.  The name is Haddie’s Calling-Every Child Wakes Up.  Our mission is to provide a sleep sack to every family in an effort to make sure every child wakes up.  We also want to inform families about Safe Sleep rules and how important they are.  It only takes ONE time of not following a rule for something to happen.  Not only do parents need to be informed but also anyone who might care for your child.  This means Grandparents, family members, babysitters, and daycares.   Most people think a tragedy like this won’t happen to them.  I know I did.  I am doing this to honor you, baby girl.  I want to bring meaning to your death and I want people to hear your story and lives to be saved.  No one should have to experience the pain that we do.  

You are constantly on my mind and that is not an exaggeration.  I love you.