"There'll be days your heart don't wanna beat You pray more than you breathe And you just wanna fall to pieces"   I heard Keith Urban's song "Break on Me" today on the radio.  Although it is not about losing a child the first 3 lines of the song had me in tears.  I feel

Haddie Bo Bo,   Just because your not here doesn't mean that you get away with being the "little sister".   The other day I went into Elo's room and she showed me a toy figurine that had broke.  I asked her, "What happened?" "Haddie Bo Bo climbed up the stairs, and over my gate,

Haddie Bo Bo,   Well when you loose a child, you don't get an "easy pass" for the rest of your life.  It would be nice wouldn't it?  After your family goes through the horrific event of loosing a child, that everything else in life should go smoothly.  It makes perfect sense to me.  

  Haddie Bo Bo, I did some traveling for work.  Things started off well but then I had a strange experience and then everything took a turn for the worst! I'll first tell you about the weird experience.  First I don't love sleeping by myself so when I was abruptly awoken at 3:30 AM to

Haddie Bo Bo,Sometimes your face haunts me.  I stare at your face in pictures and see in your eyes how much I failed you.  You needed me for everything.  You trusted me.  I was supposed to keep you safe.  So much life in your eyes.  I look at this picture and it reminds me of

Haddie Bo Bo,I was upstairs putting laundry away, shocking I know.  Eloise was in her room playing with her train set.  It got very quiet, so I went to look for Elo.  I checked her room she wasn't there.  Then I saw her in your room.  She had gotten out all the poster boards with

Haddie Bo Bo,If I knew you'd only be with us for 9 months I would have done so many things different.  I would have picked you up every time you cried.  I would have never stopped nursing you because I felt stressed out working full time.  I would have taken pictures of every moment of

Haddie Bo Bo,I love you! Recently I have been on the receiving end of many's generosity and kindness. It was a later in the evening and Daddy, Elo, and I decided to take a quick Target run.  It had just been a long day at home so I still had the same pony tail hair

Haddie Bo Bo,There are toys strewn about my living room.  A sink overflowing with dishes.  Food still stuck to the table from last night's dinner.  Eloise is running around, playing, singing, and laughing.  LOUD.  The house still feels empty.  Today I can't look at your pictures because they hurt to much.  Today my normal "go

Haddie Bo Bo,I have been very busy this past week.  Busy and distracted.  I haven't had a lot of time to think....to think about you.  When I am awake I am thinking about you 99% of the time.  But lately I haven't had that time to think about you, or mourn you.  I usually see